Here I am, posting.... Don't cry, Goolancer. Ok, I'll talk about absolutely nothing today.
....
.......
............I need to get to work on my report on necrophilia.
God dammit cunts. To all you people who post, you'd better post soon or I'll cap your bitch asses.
Anyways, the past week has been...strange. Fun, and at the same time, depressing. Don't know how to describe it really. I've been kind of paranoid lately...for some reason I've been dwelling on what everyone else thinks of me. I don't know why, I've never really given a shit before, but recently I've been really self conscious. And I need a hair cut. When my hair gets too long, I start to get a mini-mullet in the back. Blech.
This guy has triple dah nipple! He (she?) is my hero.
I'm still grounded. I'm sneaking on right now, because I'm cool like that. I'm doing my homework now (heh...) but my parents are raging ass sluts so I have no idea when I'm getting back on for good. You gotta love how they also grounded me from PS2, but didn't even touch it. It's still all connected, and ready to go. It's kind of sad that they apparently trust me that much. Or they just don't know how to keep me off of these things. Whatever.
Here I am, finally posting in the sexy blog of Goolancer.
The reason I haven't been writing is because I've been busy at PF doing all sorts of sexy color schemes. And, picture shit for people. Anyway, I was supposed to do a review thing of monster party for GoO, but I don't have the images with me on this computer. So instead I give you cheap attempt of manga style drawing I did in open canvas. OC is sex. Some people won't even know who this is. I DRAW IT WITH MY MOUSE AND IT IS ALMOST SEXY.
Not much to say, except that I'm grounded because of grades and I have to sneak on at night to get on the computah. Blech. I'm still masturbating over my new DVD's though. Sexy.
Oh yes, when I am ungrounded (which may be in a week...or a couple of months, I really have no idea) I will start churning out more (and better) remixes.
So it's sunday night, my head hurts, and school is tomarrow.
Oh look. Sushi is here.. =)
Cheers! Wait...who the fuck are these people?
So yesterday I got to meet our very own Depth, and blew almost all my money on DDR MAX, and some half-assed chicken strips.
Now speaking of DDR, I wonder why Konami keeps testing the limits of it's DDR players? I mean, I watched the numerous people try
to pass Max300 and failed horribly...or got really close. It takes alot of stamina to play DDR, but it seems that with every new mix that comes out, there's always a new exorbitantly fast song with hard options that everyone is hyped about, and then some kid in Cali passes it, and it's like no one gives a shit anymore. I got ahold of a MaxX Unlimited DWI, and it's hard as fuck. At 320 BPM, when will Konami realize that they are going to kill someone eventually? Sheesh..
Hello everyone! Sushi here! *waves* See see? I'm posting now! Actually...I'm just trying my best to avoid doing my english and history paper. Yup. I said to myself, "hmmm...I wonder what I else I can do to keep myself busy." For a while I've been practicing some Para Para routines to keep me busy also (yeah...I know a lot of people think it's stupid and ghey....but...I'm a girl! Sooo...I can get away with it and look good so NYAH!!! =P). Just kidding everyone. Heh.
Anyway, I decided to read some of the past postings (again, to keep me from doing those damn term papers). I decided to only read BDC's and some of Goolancer's though because...well, those two are the only one's I know. IAN!!! Sushi loves you! Thanks for always being there, and listening to me. Especially today. Oh yeah, BDC said I sound like a cat when I sigh and yawn. Meow~ Sniff, you just HAVE to come visit me, and then I'll ride the plane back to Arizona with you!
Well, I SHOULD get started on my papers, but I think I'll just post and chat for a while. Don't worry folks! Sushi always gets her work done on time no matter what woes may fall on her head and no matter how long it may take!
Greetings my fun-loving citizens! As the BAGEL LORD, I command you devour the tasty crumbs below.
It sounds so DIRTY! I just want to giggle like a schoolgirl!! Bitch.
I finally got my hands on a copy of this movie, and would watch the fuck out of it, but I have to work 8 more hours tommorow, worked 8 today, and will work 5 on Monday after school. Goats.
On the other hand, I've just returned from the house of a friend. Where, along with a couple of other friends, and *gasp* a female (Kyle's girl, she's a violent one!), we watched this movie.
Me Dolf Lundgren. Me kill bad mens.
The Punisher is also, in the tradition of Casey's choice, an 80's movie. It's also, appropriately badass. Dolf Lundgren is as full of life and acting ability as a corpse, but he kills stuff real good, so it's alright. For those who don't know of the absolutely awesome Marvel comic book which the movie is based on, The Punisher is an ex-cop named Frank Castle who's family has been murdered by the mob. He punishes the bad mens by spanking them soundly.
With a shotgun.
He also drives a school bus
In addition to all this, there's a dishelved hobo thesbian who speaks in rhyme. Hurrah!
The Punisher is one of the few good comic book show/movie adaptations. Most other atempts I've seen deserve forks to the eyes. X-men was alright, even if it completely abondoned the comic storylines, turned Rogue into a simpering teenager, Mystique into a reptile, and Sabertooth into the mental equivelant of a brick.
I have more to say on this, I'm sure. But I'm more tired than Goo's mom after a nice long skull-fuck. Plus I've still got this damned cough. But I'm alright.
Why? Cause' after we watched the Punisher, it was Dead or Alive 2 time, and despite not playing the game in over 4 months...Prof. Choc schooled some bitches. Ain't no thang but a chicken wing.
Hugs and Kisses baby.
Proffessor Choc out.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 11:47 PM
For all you EO goers, Fran and Nerpin have set up a new board. http://eo.fran-web.net/index.php?s=
Went to Mesa Golfland today...met depth, toki, sansuki, Mysticspyrall and a bunch of other SST people. Played the fuck out of Keyboardmania and IIDX. Fun fun. I can only pass 3 star songs on IIDX, and can ALMOST pass some songs on Real mode in KBM...yeah, I suck. I owned on the CvS2 and MvC2 machines. Woot. I ordered some chicken strips, and I waited for 30 minutes. It turns out the dumb cunts forgot to put them in the oven. I smacked the bitches and unloaded a clip in my gatt. It was fresh. Went to a close by Chinese buffet afterwards. It was funny, because the Chinese people took an old 50's diner type restaurant and turned into a buffet. The windows had milk shakes and cow faces on the windows. Hilarity.
I got my new sexy DVDs today. I already finished the Street Fighter Alpha anime, am currently watching Spaceballs, and will finish up with the American Street Fighter movie tomorrow. Bootylicious.
yo,
well im sitting here waiting to leave which should be happening in about 45 minutes. thats too long. i want to go now and get out of this town. but tonight should be hella fun because we hittin that club and shit. then tomorow i get to meet goolancer and some of you other people.so ths should be fun. but i can just see it now, we pull into mesa and all of a sudden i get sick and have to stay in bed the whole time. that would suck so much.
hmmmmmmmmmm well today was actually ok, got to screw around in most of the classes and the poli sci teacher yelled at us for supposedly telling each other what questions were on the test right before we took it. oh boo fucking hoo. like the 5 minute passing period to study is REALLY going to affect us that much. ok. well. this is gay, im bored. later.
Music page updated with yet another sexy song. Woot.
Today fucking sucked. My mom is such a fucking whore. She feels that in order for me to do better in school, she has to take everything that I like away from me. She might also be postponing my Golfland trip to next Saturday. It's doubtful though, I told her a bunch of bad shit would happen if she pulled that. I don't give a fuck. I'm sick of these cunts. I couldn't care if they lived or died, except for the fact that I need them for food and shelter. I fucking hate school. I fucking hate my stupid parents who want me to be a little over achieving pussy, even though my dad had WAAAY worse grades than I did in High School. Hypocrite like a mothah fuckah.
In other news, Gifted is closing down EO because of everyone's perpetual gayness. Nerpin and Enig might be starting a new board though. It's kind of funny, because everyone is all "NOOOO GIFTED 1 PLIS I GIEV YOUZ MONEYZ IF U KEEP DA BORDZ" even though he probably doesn't give a shit. If this new board takes off, I'll hang out there, and I'm also going to start posting on Overclocked ReMix, due to my new love for remixing video game songs. http://remix.overclocked.org - This site is very sexy. I submitted my Persona 2 Medley to them, I hope it's good enough...they have pretty high standards. I'm hoping I can start that remix of Ginko's theme this weekend, if I can get a hold of the computer.
Back on the subject of message boards, I don't get why some people take them so seriously. I mean, I frequent them a lot, but some people replace their social life with these internet gathering places. Crazy fucks.
Yeah. Everyone is really gay and they all like the cock. Stupid fucks.
As I read through the messages on the blog, I would also like to take the time to agree with our good friend, Choc. Since I seem to frequent one of the same message boards he goes to, I often wonder why people make the threads they do. They consist of classic topics such as "wah no one likez me n i wuz baned cuz i yellied at kc," and something about buying a keychain for someone. Granted, I did that once, but I don't continue to make topics that suck a fucking dick.
Also, a note for all you maggots would be to get Open Canvas. Open Canvas equals sex. It is that good. Especially if you're an artist and you can draw with a mouse, it is super mega tubular! You can find it at Portalgraphics.net. You must go, go and get the program, even if it's a trail... because........well, just because.
Now, onto the main point of my post: Heathers. I'm sure you're thinking, "just what the bloody ass fuck is Heathers?" Disregarding the fact that it is also the name you can give a child, or the pural possessive form of Heather done incorrectly, it is also a kickass 80's movie. Why is it that the 80's had all the good movies? Now a days we get shitty stuff like that features Sandra Bullock. I hate her, if I see another damn movie with her in it, I'll take a bomb, and shove it up her ass in a desperate kamikaze mission. Well, err.. okay... Heathers...
Heathers is full of fashionable 80's trends! Seriously, though, SEE THIS MOVIE.
Never in my life have I watched such a hilarious movie over and over again without getting tired of it. The plot is a parody on high school life, starring four girls; Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, Heather McNamara, and Veronica Sawyer(whom the movie revolves around) each of which are Juniors in High school. Veronica was once one of the girl's who were always labelled as "nerds," or "barbie betsys." Either way, she was not popular, that is until she met Heather Chandler, who let her join the school's most powerful clique; the Heathers clique.
From the left: Veronica Sawyer(Winona Rider,) Heather Chandler(Kim Walker,) Heather McNamara(Lisanne Falk,) and Heather Duke(Shannon Doherty.)
This clique is basically a bushel of bitches and one day in the lunch room while doing their weekly "lunchtime poll," Veronica lays her eyes upon the mysterious James Dean(JD.) Both of them become immediately infatuated with each other. Over the course of the movie, both of them devise plans on killing the popular kids in school, and using Veronica's ability to forge letters, make them look like they were suicide attempts. Now, in order to get the humor of this movie, you really need to see it. It has sex, drugs, and homoeroticy all packed into one! See it now, or you could just read the script!
I don't have anything to say. Nothing. I'm having a 'fatalistic' day where everything is about me and how "life is suffering".
And I fucking hate it. Drives me up a wall. So you get the knowledge that a perfectly good rant could have gone here, if life hadn't ruined me.
For those of you that frequent Bulletin Boards (as I do), and even fewer of you that frequent the same one's I do...you may have noticed how I absolutely HATE it when people make an entirely new topic about some inane bit of revelry that no one gives a fuck about. They just talk about some stuff or bitch about how everyone hates them, and then they suck a semen bottle.
Well, it sucks. On the other hand, milk is good. Hurray!
Hugs and kisses baby.
Proffessor Choc out.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 11:14 PM
Hello yet again, sluts. Being that I made my first remix today, I'm starting a music section on the site. It's not very good, but whatever. Tomorrow I'm going to try and get a remix up of Ginko's theme from Persona 2. Yeah, I still don't have much to post about. When I do I'll make a Sexy McSex post.
Now...a mini top ten list...so mini, it's a top 5 list! Sex!
TOP 5 CARTOONS OF ALL TIME
5.)Rocko's Modern Life - This is one of my favorite Nickelodeon cartoons. It's one of those cartoons that are made for kids, but are littered with a bunch of adult humor. For example, when Rocko is going to buy his dog Spunky a new dog bowl, the clerk is showing them around and says, "Alright, let's get on the conveyor belt, doggy style! Hands and knees!" This show is awesome. I wish it was still on. Stupid Nick. *points to Archives*
A baby ate your dingo, love!
4.)Pokemon - Yeah, I know a lot of you hate this show, but back in 6th grade when the Pokemon fad was just getting started, I loved this shit. Maybe I just have a thing for anime based off of video games.
HURRR CHRONIC HURRRR
3.)Beavis And Butthead - Fuck that Southpark shit. Beavis And Butthead managed to be crude and funny at the same time, unlike that Southpark ghey. I wish they would make new episodes. Wah. This series also had some cool video games that spawned off of it. And a movie. A good movie. Woot.
Tooty.
2.)Ren and Stimpy - For reasons why I like this cartoon, see the reasons why I like Rocko.
Powdered Toast Man!!!
1.)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Find me someone who is around 14-18 and didn't grow up with this show and I will give you one million dollars. If there was any show to watch on Saturday mornings, this was it.
I'm posting late, but whatever. Time for another picture-heavy article with nothing to do with anything whatsoever!
On Saturday I'm going to Golfland...it's going to be fucking fresh. Beatmania IIDX, Keyboardmania, Drummania, a bunch of fighting games, and crappy food. My parents finally agreed to take my there because it's my birthday. (well, technically my b-day is on a tuesday, but...your mother) I'm getting the coolest DVDs and shit. Street Fighter: The Movie (Van Dammage), Street Fighter Alpha: The Movie, and Spaceballs. I'm also getting Legend Of Mana. I'm the only person on earth that liked that game. Suxors my coxors, plis k thx. There's one present that I wish I was getting, though.
Oh well. Maybe next year.
Well anyways, it's going to be the shit. I'm going to meet up with toki, depth, and some other people. ........yeah. I don't have much to say tonight. I think I'll just leave you with something Morning Musume pics and then make like a banana and masturbate.
Well, rather than give anyone a legitimate rant, I think I'll just be lazy and talk on and on about the shit going on in my life, like you all fucking care.
The rumor I previously mentioned nested better than I originally planned. Being sick for a week even added to the believability of it. Since none of you were privy to being near my body at the time I impregnated the school with this sexy rumor-semen, I will explain what it is.
Over Spring Break, I did nothing at all. Mostly stayed at home and did EO, PS2, sleeping, ate a little, swung at invisible crack-induced monsters with a stick, etc. I went out with a couple close friends, no biggie. I told a couple people before I left that I was going to hitchike to California to see my older brother (whom I invented, gave a background story for and everything). I also mentioned that I would gone for a week or two after Spring Break cause' I'd be staying with him.
Who knew I'd get sick like this?
So, I come back yesterday, people are clapping me on the back, celebrating my renegade attitude for running away from home, wanting to hear my tales of the road, etc.
Fuck a duck, ladies and gentlemen. It worked!
Even further, my 3rd hour teacher is a hyper woman who's never quite given up on high school gossip and cheers all kinds of interesting behaviors. Still lives with her parents in 'Hellkart' (Elkhart, it's a city nearby), and just 30, she has the brain of a high school girl for the most part. She's an oddball to say the least, but I'm kind of fond of her.
She heard about it as well. And she bought it. Hook line, and mutha-fuckin' sinker.
Then she told all her classes about it.
Well, shit. This presents some interesting fun to be had, and possible trouble. It is what it is though. Maybe I'll kill my brother off. A car wreck or something. Shark attack...hmmmm...
Oh yes, I finally saw the doctor as well. It's some kind of sinus infection that drips snot and shit into my lungs and stomach, making it hard to breathe/easy to hurl, among other things. Should stop in a couple of days. I have teh anti-biotics now. FINALLY.
And the five of you who read this bitch probably noticed I haven't used any pictures recently and since you probably have the attention span of a godamned toddler, you need those shiny gems to get from paragraph to paragraph. Well, that's cause' I'm lazy.
Next time.
Hugs and kisses baby.
Proffessor Choc out.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 5:39 PM
it's your favorite ninja back again. ok maybe im not your favorite. but whatever. click this link http://store.yahoo.com/psychopathic-records-store/hoodedjerseys.html and tell me if i should get red, blue, or the dark green. im leaning towards red for sure right now. just use the comments thingie if it actually exists (hah goolancer =\)
so i got my braces off today. if feels like someone stuck 2 unchewed chicklets in the front of my mouth, i havnt been able to feel my teeth for 2 yrs and now it feels alien. go me. you know how they take of the brackets(sp)? the squeeze them until they break. if feals SOOOO good. especially when this noob they are using me to train on decided she needs to be chyna and squeezes it too hard and it shatters. that feals about like taking a needle and shoving it into the nerve of your tooth. and then there came lots of action with something that looked like a little dremel rotary tool, with 3 different attachments; ok, bareable, and pain. the orthodontist decided some of my teeth were too pointy, so he got out pain and FIXED THAT RIGHT UP. MMMM MMM, DOESNT YOUR TEETH BURNING SMELL GOOD?!!? i love it. ok...
as it turns out im probably coming up to mesa early on friday (not early friday, but early as in earlier then saturday which is when i was going to come) so me, damicci & his girl, and mysricspyrall can hit up this club. and then saturday its going to be hours and hours of slapping keys on IIDX. i was just looking at my phone, waiting for it to ring. and it didnt. i have nothing usefull to say right now.
I come bearing another terrific review of NES wholesomeness. It is perhaps one of the most disgusting, yet sexually fustrated games I have ever laid eyes upon... Alrighty then, let's get it on with the hardcoreness, my bitches.
Bible Adventures, the cousin of Bible Buffet. Except with more religion.
Long, long ago, in the year 1991, religious soccer moms united to create a game under the sanction of the lord that would be suitable for their pussy-god boys. This all began when these gossipy hags realized the blight of the violent Mario games, full of animal cruelty and sporadic tendancies to cross-dress, decided to do something about it. Having read the bible several times themselves, they chose the kinkiest, most wild adventures to ever take place in the Bible, and Bible Adventures was born!
I downloaded this bitch yesterday night while I was contemplating shooting myself in the head because it is gradually getting so fucking hot here. I hate it when it gets hot, I really, really do, but this has nothing to do with Bible Adventures, so... Let's see, I opened this baby in my emulator and began to play it. In Bible Adventures, you can choose from 3 different quests to go on; Noah's Ark, Baby Moses, and David and Goliath.
If it was ever your wildest fantasy to live the adventures of the bible... Suck a dick, chimpy.
Well, safe to say, I choose the Baby Moses quest in hopes that someday the little tike would grow up to liberate the Jews, or whoever the fuck, from Egypt. After I choose which quest I wanted to do, I was treated to a screen where it showed me a passage from the bible with text that scrolls at the speed of light. Now, for the actual game, I started off beside the Nile river on all these little bricks and crap. I believe and you play either Moses's mother, or the Pharoh's daughter who rescues Moses in the Bible, I wasn't really sure. The point of this quest is to save baby Moses from harm's way while escapading down the river side! I assume that's what I'm supposed to do, considering they don't tell you what to do; that'd be too easy!
Time to save Moses from the spider of unholy doom.
Okay, I'll give this game one thing, it has some nice graphics for being a NES game, but that's really the only good thing about this. The controls of this game are surprisingly easy, the A button being how you scoop Moses up over your head. Yes, over your head, because you must realize that's just how you hold a baby, and that's obviously the best way to keep a baby safe. The B button was used to jump, or scale down to lower level platform to avoid the unavoidable swarms of unfathomable monsters. Now, because a group of over-protective, religious soccer moms who listen in on their children's phone conversations, and sue people who sign their guestbooks on the internet, there are little help files along the way. Every once and awhile, you'll come across magical pieces of paper mysteriously laying on the ground. If you kneel down and press A, you'll get a little hint on how to play the game! It would be downright wrong to tell someone how to play a game, so tips were the next best thing.
The levels of this game are difficult and make no fucking sense, sometimes I believe the creators just put stuff in there to make it look like it had substance. Granted, the scene does look like some horribly dilapidated Egyption ghetto alley, it did fit the atmosphere... I guess. I really couldn't tell you how many levels there is, because I gave up on the second part because it was almost impossible to get through.
I was beginning to wonder why the hell I just couldn't toss the little fucker into the river, like they did in the bible, but noooo, I have to carry him over my head like a basket full of oranges, or whatever exotic fruit grows in Egypt.
The music sucks, I'll just get that over with. It's horrible and sounds worse than your mother gagging on Bruno's dick. It's really just that bad, and possiblely, it could get worse. At first, I had my volume down, because my dad would throw hairy fit if he heard I was having some kind of enjoyment while on the computer. Oh wait, did I just say enjoyment? I meant torture. Seriously, he'd really just beat the shit out of me if he heard the sucky melody of astranged beeps.
Enemies. Enemies in this game come in many different shapes and sizes. I encountered black spiders, grass-skirt men with spears who jump and try to steal Moses from you, marshmellow birds that can knock Moses from your hands and eventually, lift the woman - a full grown woman - into the air and onto the clouds. You happen to be able to walk on these clouds as well, because that was always a fantasy of many a soccer mom. I did run into other enemies, but this was in David's quest, which was horribly flamboyant and consisted of some sorts of beastiality. I wasn't really sure on what I was supposed to do, but there were lambs; squirrels that threw acorns at me, and when they were on the ground I could pick them up and throw them; and finally a large lion that just sat there. I went up to it and gave a powerful hip thrust, sending it flying in a fit of animal lust. Other than that, I really didn't see many enemies, or a point to the game. I'll probably try it again later.
Fuck this shit, you're going in the river, Moses.
Ok, let's see, even if you throw Moses into the water, you can still go on with the level and get to the end. I did find this funny, considering that if you go in the water, you will die and Moses just kind of disappears. At first, I didn't understand the consquences that came with throwing him in the river and soared through the place easily. However, you will get this screen upon reaching the end of the level and you will have to go through it again.
Oops.
Oh, by the way, if any of the enemies beside the animals in David's quest touch you, you will be tossed back, wide-eyed and after a few hits, will die. Well, I don't know if you die, because that'd be exposing you to reality, and that's definitely what the religious soccer moms would want the children to see... You simply go to a screen that asks if you wish to continue, or start a new quest. Anyway, if you really want to play this game, go ahead, but I really don't think you'd want to... Well, you probably do, but who cares.
Next time I shall bring you the joys of the greatest 80's movie ever: Heathers.
Bye.
Casey the nazi signing off... graditude to Goolancer for the sexy banner.
ok kiddies, here i come like a big bag of penises.
first off i'de like to thank blogger.com for being so fucking and overpopulated that it makes 100000000.3/7 times harder for me to read this shit. take the number if times i try to read this a day (2). and subtract the number of times this shit doesnt load a day (2). that makes me not reading or posting on this bitch. ok enough of that
i dont really have a rant today, just to let you all know that i have a huge headach. because i just got my cooler fixed, and 10 billion pounds of dust weant straight from the vents to my lungs and brain. i cant wait til the 20th cus then i get to come and chill with you people and meet this jewbag jewlancer and his jewish companians. speaking of mispelled words and jews....
i got called a biggot by a jewish teacher today. way to go the fucking moron that is Ian Pfander who decided "HEY. ILL TELL THAT JOKE TOKI TOLD THAT PERTAINED TO HIM MAKING FUN OF JEWS. AND HELL, ILL EVEN DO IT TO A JEWISH TEACHER! HEH UCKC!" oh well, he didnt care, because he's not really jewish, he just likes to pretend he is. i think. i tried to briefly explaine to him the context of the joke but he is one of those people that will turn anything you say around. so i just stopped. ONTO OTHER PRESSING MATTERS.
i dont have any. go me. i need another $40 or so so i can get this jersey that juggalorific. i think my brain is going to explode for real right now so ill hit this up later. peace.
Because I was a lazy fuck that didn't take it seriously, I had a meeting with my counselor and my parents after school. Yeah... I enjoyed this like I enjoyed jumping into a cactus naked.
My counselor sat there with her skin hanging off of her like it was proof that dinosaurs existed, giving me the same arguments for school that all of us had heard before.. "You need to a highschool diploma because you will be hired more likely.. blah blah blah penis" I had some choices. I could either have a 6th period class to get some credits back, or I could go to Summer school. I chose the 6th hour class. I have to stay to school until 4:30 in a class with a bunch of other annoying ADD ritalin-raised kids my age, but hey, it beats having my summer plans ruined...Plans that involve me going to Virginia with Khris to visit Sushi.. As of now, I just want to get a job and a damn diploma as fast as possible so I can get the fuck out of high school. College can kiss my ass.
So remember kids--Stay in school and drink your milk.
Anyway, your favorite, innocent and pure hearted Casey has returned from her adventures at college. You will be thrilled to know that many things happened when I was there! So much infact, that it'll be appropriate to tell you all of such tales. Let's see, I got up, took a shower, go in the car, and sped off at 70 mph toward school. It takes about 20 or 15 minutes to get there from my house. It's a pain in the ass to get there, too, with all the old people driving at 30 mph in their stupid tan Tauruses. Also, you run the chance of hitting one of the dumb son of a bitches during the grandpa walk-a-thon that is present every morning. Really fucking sucks.
Get the fuck off of the road, assprunes.
I got to Computer graphics 10 minutes late, sat down, and realized that the program I was supposed to use didn't even fucking function. So I just took notes and after awhile, left because there really was no point for me to be there. I took a joyous trip to the computer lab, populated by the mini-ghetto of GCC(genesee community college,) they were playing Punch Out! on Nesticle. How sexy.
Put y0 dukes up, bee0tch ~!
The most annoying thing in the world happened in English. The gay black guy(no, I'm not racist, just describing him for you,) was singing AMERICAN POP music. Ricky Martin, Britney Spears and all those crappy singers. Not only was he singing them, he had his headphones to full blast and they were on his gigantic fat head and not over his ears. I WANTED TO SMACK THE FUCK OUT OF HIM!!!!!!! Ok, but anyway, the rest of my day was pretty boring... ya know, changed my major, same old, same old. Due to lack of anythign else to post, I will post some of the porn mail I get on AOL:
Mail time, boys and girls!
Letter #1
Dear Mr. Tagalu....
This is Karlos, your daughter's ex boyfriend. I know you probably dont like me right now, and you think im a bad guy, but I just want you to know i was in love with your daughter. I only wanted the best for her. But shes doing horrible things on the internet.....
She posted pictures of herself on this adult website with her webcam that you bought her last christmas. If you want to see them go to keyword: www.freebies1.nu
Dont worry, you wont have to pay, its free for the whole world to see. Tell Jessica i miss her and im sorry =( ......
Letter #2
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PS.Slet me know what ya think! i know u wont regret hitting the page up... shit ya got nothing to lose bro.... oh! how was the party lastnight @ stacy's house? let me know.
Good day maggots! Casey's post about Bible Buffet has caused me to go down NES memory lane. Today, we discuss quite possible the best and most overlooked NES game of all time. This game is pretty obscure, but it is some fucking bootylicious shit. That game is M.C.Kids.
Mic and Mac get down. UNGGGGGGGGGGGG NA NA NA NA
M.C. Kids is a game that was designed around the fast food chain world known to many as McDonald's, but to some as El Grande Blanco Diablo. Well anyways, the game starts like this. Mic and his black plantation slave Mac are out camping in the woods reading a book about Ronald McDonald and friends. When all of the sudden, BLAM! They are transported into the McDonald's world, or to be more precise, in front of Ronald's house. Apparently, Ronald's bag of magic (slang for cocaine, which was commonly put in McDonald's children's meals at the time) was stolen by the raging pedophile, the Hamburglar.
Drop your pants, kids!
Stupid story aside, the game mechanics are fucking fresh. MCKids is just another NES platformer, but it is still very fun...it even rivals classics like Super Mario Bros. 3. There are 7 worlds you travel through. (6 normal worlds and then a bonus world that can be opened up) You start off in "Ronald's Playhouse" which is a world consisting mainly of forested areas. As you go through the levels, you have to collect "Puzzle Cards" that when you gather at least four of them, you unlock the path to the next world. For example, after gathering four of them in Ronald's world, a path will open up into Birdie's world, and so on. The order was Ronald, Birdie, Grimace, The Professor (OLD SCHOOL), some CosMc (an alien character that no one remembers) and then finally the Hamburglar. You could also find "SECRET" cards, that when you gathered all six of them would open a secret area by Ronald's that consisted of three extra levels.
Mic busts a nut in the first level of Ronald's world.
The way you attack in this game is picking up blocks of all kinds and chucking them at your enemies, which range from evil snails, to evil gophers, to evil snowmen, to giant tentacles that come out of craters and tentacle rape our unfortunate hero, killing him instantly. When you finally reach the end of the game, you fight the game's only boss. The Magic Bag. For some reason, Ronald's bag of magic he uses to perform tricks for little kids and rape girls with (don't ask me how he does it) attacks you. This game is generally easy (it can be frustrating at times) and it's kind of surprising to see a boss this hard. It has three or fours different sets of attacks it goes through before it finally goes kaput. It's like sex.
That's not a statue, kids.
Another good thing about this game is the music. For a nintendo game, it is surprisingly catchy. You can find a remix of one of the songs off of Audiogalaxy if you want to see what I'm talking about. All in all, this is a good game. If you haven't played it, it may sound really fucking stupid to you, but go download the rom and try it out. It's like crack.
GoO has returned to post in the blog. You are full of the excitement now, I know.
Anyways, I'm sorry I haven't posted. IEs been acting like a pissy little bitch lately and not letting me login to my FTP space. Same with Compuserve not letting me into my file manager to upload pictures, but Compuserve's file manager is a piece of shit anyways. Until I figure out what's wrong with IE or decide to stop being lazy and find an FTP program that doesn't crap out after a month, I'm gonna have to upload pictures to Tripod with the .txt trick.
I love Tripod.
For whatever reason yesterday, my mom decides to drag me along with her to her boyfriend's house. Not my two brothers though, just me. And our dog. Our 100lb dog that attacks near everything it sees. I am forced to restrain ox dog in back of pick-up truck during drive to mother's boyfriend's house while dog is trying to jump out of the back and into the street. The guy lives in a farm house, and there's a bunch of animals and crap there, along with this cat on the porch in this house thing that just had kittens the night before. I guess our dog was brought along to play with the guy's dog, this little fat black shepard/lab mutt dog named Nina(:D) ...but she wasn't keeping him occupied too well because the entire time we're there the dog is trying to get at the cat and her kittens. The dumbshits also kept the door open seeing this, and seemed suprised when the dog knocked down the screendoor. This happened three times.
The face of evil.
There were horses....and a goat. The presense of the goat wasn't a problem, but I hate horses. Moths, locust and horses. Now, I know you're probably wondering what kind of a person doesn't love the powdery winged moth demon when it speeds around your head and drives itself into lightbulbs, and hey, what person doesn't enjoy a good old fashioned plague of locust? I dunno why, but there's just something about horses that creep me out. Maybe it's the shifty eyed sneaky kill look they have, like they're getting ready to jump into the air and step on your ribcage. Fortunatly, the horses there didn't try to step on my head or turn rabid and go on a rampage when I tried to pet them. I guess I'm not so afraid of horses anymore...but they still creep me out.
Hellspawn straight from the sweltering pits of Hades.
Oh yes, we have a lot of these things all over the place now too. I started seeing a few lady bugs around the house a few days ago, but I thought it was just because the weather was warming up. Now I'm finding ladybug wings all over the kitchen floor and stepping on them all the time. I get into bed last night and feel these crunchy bead things. I get up and find a bunch of dead(Live, dead, I don't know. They didn't move when I flicked them off the bed.) ladybugs.
It's 88° out now and no air condition, so I'm losing concentration. I'm just gonna stop with this.
http://fanfiction.net/list.php?categoryid=700
Bible fan fiction. BIBLE fan fiction. Fan fiction...about The Bible.
The night is young, and there's plastic to be melted. Evening to you all.
I nearly choked to death, after reading some comment about eating cigarettes off the ground whilst ingesting some of my mandatory Bottle O' Water (Sickness Day 7...can't believe I still have this bullshit) which I've been re-filling with tap water because there's not a big difference to me between regular water and that bottled shit. Except that you have to pay a buck for it...which isn't a lot, but chocolate milk is cheaper in the cafeteria line.
Most cafeteria food is shit too, but chicken nugget day is the day o' de gods. Bagel pizzas are alright too, but whatever. Fried chicken parts baby.
Any other day I jus' save my cash and don't eat. I never get that hungry anyway...cafeteria kinda makes me lose my lunch just looking at that place.
Speaking of cafeteria, being that tommorow IS monday and all, I might actually be well enough to go back to school...well, no I'm not, but I am anyway, so sayeth tha Almighty MOM. Yeah, I'm still under that jurisdiction. I don't listen to her for the most part, but I figure it's time for me to go back anyway and see how those rumors I've started have been fermenting.
Rumors are fun.
See, all people are gullible. You might not think you are, but you are. All you have to do is tell them a story, convincingly, and they will believe it. Tell a couple more people the same story (do it naturally, don't ACT like you're starting a rumor, or else you'll look like the little bitch that you are), and you have a genuine tale on your hands.
I, for example, am a fairly well behaved kid, I drink a little, go out wit' my homies and bust a cap once in a while, but otherwise, no drugs, no sex, nothing real bad.
However, who I am to the weaker-minded changes...oh, roughly once a month. I'm a pothead, a pervert, a sex god, a runaway, a rich kid, a poor kid, etc., etc.
People apparently forget things. Or something, I dunno. I just reinvent myself when I feel like it. Most schoolkids I've run across are fucking idiots anyway, so it's not big deal to play with their heads a little.
So, looks like I'm back off to school boys n' girls. Whether I want back in or not.
And, I'm out of water...
So peace out.
Hugs and Kisses baby.
-Proffessor Choc.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 9:50 PM
Be feeling the happiness, you must, for I have arrived on this sexy blog. Today, I have the need to tell of my recent ROM exploits! Bible Buffet, a game for the Nintendo Entertainment System(NES.) Nostaligic NES time! For sure, you're wondering why you never heard of this gem of a game and as for me, I'll be smacking you upside the head for remotely thinking that. And, for all you Christian scoccer moms out there, or pussy god-boys, I can assure you this has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DAMN BIBLE!
The title screen, accompanied by the seizure inducing beeps that seem to resemble "When the Saints go Marching in." How religious!
As mentioned above, I fail to find anything about this game that even remotely referes to the Bible, or even religion at that. This is the one thing that confused me about most NES games; the fact they never even seemed to have any fucking semblence to what their title suggests. I was expecting a buffet full of tasty bibles, and passges from John, Paul, Willam, with large, obsesse men standing in line infront of a table of food. Instead, I find nothing of the sort in this game except for a multicolored board game-like screen and tacky spinner. Assuming this is supposed to be some kind of electronic board game, it makes me wonder who in the right mind would bother playing this. On this board, there are different lands you must travel through in order to get the power up and win the game!
Thou shall move ahead 10 spaces! Potato land, ahoy! Fuck it, I hate this game, it sucks.
The point of this ridiculously retarded game is to gain as much weight as possible while running away from walking pieces of food. Yes, that's right; your goal is to become obsesse. How easy is that? Good thing Richard Simmons doesn't appear in this game, or else you'd really have a big problem. Hell, that would have been a good idea to put in, considering this game lacks any fucking appeal to play it, so much infact that I want to punch myself. I'm exaggerating, but this is the worst game I've EVER played. It lacks something called PURPOSE. Well, anyway, I think I may have paused during this game and gotten something to drink, or talked to one of my friends on the phone. I may have even had dinner during this too, but that's really not important anymore. Oh, yeah, about the game again... You play some little retarded plantation boy wearing suspenders and you walk around the various lands like Vegatable land, Potato land, Liquid land, etc and eat things you find off of the ground. Yes, because eating things off of the ground is sanitary and healthy! I once ate something off of the ground when I was little, and it was probably fucking disgusting, but who cares? Oh well, it's not everyday you can find perfectly good apples, french fries, beer, cucumbers, pizza, grapes, cakes, and cigarettes on the ground! Bible Buffet must be one bitchin' land to live in! I bet this is really Heaven! How do you enter these areas littered with yummy yums? That's easy, just spin the spinner, and move the spaces, and you can enter the fun-filled land of whatever. This is supposed to be the challenging part of the game!
I've only explored two areas and in my endeavers through the landscape of protruding french fries in dirt, I've gained 84 pounds! How sexy ~!
You can do alot in this game, and you surprisingly(for a NES game,) have alot of weapons too. To match the theme of growing obsese, your weapons consist of eating utensils. You get a fork, a spoon, a knife, some other kind of fork, and letter opener or something. You also get unlimited amounds of large, rusty trash cans full of explosive gas that you can set on the ground and block floating bushels of weed in your way. After a few seconds, it'll explode and obliterate whatever was in the vicinity of the explosion. I recently found this out, and I find this rather useful and humorous. That's the thing about these games on the NES; some things just make no fucking sense at all. Which brings me to another point of this game that pisses me off: POP QUIZES. Occasionally with your spinner, you can get a pop quiz option which brings up a humorous little screen that asks you to answer questionless questions. I shit you not. Questionless questions. You must answer true or false. No, you must GUESS true or false and apparently you get something.. like another spin or some shit. Fuck it.
This kind of reminds me of when I was in High school, but with questionful questions.
Indeed, this is a great game. I think I beat it, and I remember the ending wasn't even really worth it. I think it was just a tallying of my score and a screen asking me to play again. What shit. I hate this mother fucking game, it was a horrible 30 minutes, but I was laughing my ass off because it was so bad. NES games are a fucking riot... well, at least some of them are. The reason I even found this game is because I was looking for "Super Bible Adventuers" and never found it. The reason I knew of this game is because I was at this game store(mind you, the ONLY one near by) and was looking at all the NES games and saw it. Only 4 bucks. LAF. They also had Bad Dudes... I think I'll play that next.
Okay, that's all for now, I suppose. I'll talk about my terrific life at community college next time and the super terrific times I have there. You are feeling the good times ~!
Good evening, ladies and germs! Bwahahahahahahahah! Well, I must say today was quite entertaining. I did the usual thing I do on Saturdays, get some money, and go hang around the mall for a couple of hours. It was great fun, and my collection of video game action figures had gone up plus one. Sex. I also saw people shoplifting today. They were walking REALLY fast (I guess they wanted to be caught) and the shirt the girl was wearing had a tag on it. Laugh out loud, good sirs.
For the first half hour or so of my trip I hung out at the local anime/comic store outside of the mall, and I purchased quite possibly the best snack ever, POCKY.
Sto-belly o-gasm!
It seemed kind of out of place for some reason, amidst the Pokemon stickers and anime soundtracks, but it was all good mah nigguh, it was all good. In case your wondering, Pocky is like a cracker stick covered in chocolate, or strawberry icing, or whatever. I decided the buy some strawberry pocky. (same as the brand above) As soon as I tasted it, I was orgasming pink. While America is busy making "Supar Sour Dog Shit Flavored Dildos" Japan is cranking fucking bitch ass snacks like this shit.
Megaman/Rockman candy. Totally tubular.
I hate to sound like a typical little Video Game playing, Japan loving dork, but honestly, almost anything that America has, Japan has something ten times better.
We've already discussed Japanese food products, so let's discuss....ANIMATION.
With the exception of Family Guy, American cartoons suck a big dick. There's the occasionally good cartoon, but for the most part it's the same formula over and over again. Japan has anime. I'm aware that there is a bunch of crappy anime out there (see: DragonballZ, Digimon, or anything else on Toonami) but some of it is really good. I have yet to see a piece of American animation to match the quality of a Princess Mononoke or a Ghost In The Shell. America used to have good cartoons (see: TMNT) but they've gone down hill in the past decade.
Next....GAMES
What does America have? PC games and the X-Box. Everything else is straight from the videogame motherland, Japan. Nintendo, Sony, Sega, you name it, they're all from Japan. While America is busy making such games as "Spec Ops" and "Hardcore Ass Ramming Vegetable Pr0n 7 featuring Rocket Power" Japan is making hundreds of games, the majority of which are very fun. It's too bad most of them don't really come stateside. (see: Bemani series)
BeatmaniaIIDX > sex.
GIRLS
Admit it. Japanese chicks are hot. Really hot. Hell, even the ugly ones aren't that bad looking. So called good looking American popstars (Britney Spears, etc.) look like fucking dogs compared to them. Well, they look like dogs anyways, but that's not the point.
Aki Kawamura. uNF uNF
MUSIC
Hell, even the pop music in Japan is good. Morning Musume. Ayumi Hamasaki. Namie Amuro. Whatever. It's all fucking fresh.
What does America have? Backstreet Boys. N'Sync. Britney Spears. I think I rest my case.
Almost every good old, politically correct 80's cartoon had at least one black person in the cast. Hell, even Beverly Hills Teens, that half hour long piece of yuppie tripe, had a pigmently challenged kid. Growing up as a kid, I always thought those characters were the coolest of all. Sure, part of it was based on the fact that I identified with them as a fellow black person, but nobody can deny the inherent coolness they exuded. Let’s take a look at a couple of my favorites...
Winston from “The Real Ghostbusters”
In the movie, Winston Zeddmore wasn’t much more than hired help, and extra set of hands. But in the cartoon, Winston was a hell of a lot more than that. Egon may have been the geeky brain with a sissy hairdo, Peter may have been the Rico Suave wannabe playboy, and Ray may have been...uh...frankly, I don’t know what the hell that pathetically useless guy’s role was, but Winston was the backbone of the team. First up, he’s former army man who could beat the living crap out of Egon’s poofy haired bookworm ass while Ray sat in the corner crying like the bitch that he was. Secondly, he was also the mechanic for Ecto-1, the Ghostbuster’s fly pimpmobile. Whether it was driving across town to put the zap on some poltergeist, or heading out at 12am for a booty call with that fine honey, Janine, Winston always kept his wheels in top shape.
Panthro from “Thundercats”
I know what you’re probably saying. “Hold up, Panthro wasn’t even human, how could he be black?” My retort? “Look at the damned guy, ya jackass!” All the other Thundercats were covered in red, orange, or yellow fur. Sure they had a few black stipes and markings here or there, but Panthro was the ONLY one with that funky dark blue color. He also talked like a grizzled old jazz musician from Louisiana, all ready to eat up a pot of freshly cooked chitlins. Besides, when you translate his name into ebonics, it becomes Panfro. And if the word ‘fro’ doesn’t make you think of black people, then you need a serious reeducation in pop culture. Like Winston, Panfro was the chief mechanic type guy of the show. Cat’s Lair, the Thundertank, that stupid ass space ship they had for about an episode and a half, and even Cheetara’s thundranium powered hyper speed vibrator? Panfro built all that shit. Plus the guy was strong as a friggin ox, and he had those kickass cat paw nunchucks. Everybody knew that if they pissed Panfro off, he’d bitchslap them around Third Earth like a cheap ho.
Roadblock from “G.I.. Joe”
You just can’t talk about the black 80's cartoon characters without mentioning Roadblock. He was the biggest, baddest, blackest brotha in the Joes. No one fucked with a man that could fire a huge artillery gun single handed. Well, no one except Cobra. But other than Destro and Baroness, they were all a bunch of brain dead, moronic little turds, anyway. Not many people know that Roadblock was an excellent cook, dishing out his cans of ass whoopin freshly prepared gourmet style. Roadblock’s coolest trait, however, had to be his mad lyrical skills. In a battle of the beat, he ranks up there with MC Hawking in being ten times better than most of the other modern rappers out there.
A blog that some day, boys and girls from all OVER will join hands and...
Correction: I had a blog. My computer made like a mysterious jew ninja and vaped my finished rant while I was finding a pic to top it off.
I hate restarts. I hate program shutdowns. I hate pop-up windows. I fucking hate porn with a godamn vengence. It's not that hard to find, I don't need that shit jammed down my throat and filling up my inbox.
HACKERS, SPAMMERS, AND PEOPLE WHO ARE PRICKISH FOR THE SAKE OF BEING ASSHOLES
Seriously, I wanna make like some Jay and Silent Bob and go to people's houses (and beat the shit out of them, naturally), who do this kinda thing. By 'kinda thing', I mean the people who live in their parent's fucking basement with a dildo up their ass and code programs to fuck the rest of the world up. The people who make themselves invincible in counterstrike and stab everyone to death with a knife. The people who, in an online RPG, will fuck you over by killing you and then banning you from the game so you can't corpse-run. Then they'll steal your junk and masturbate to pictures of Leonard Nemoy.
These same people, who are sooooo clever...can't type for fuck and usually have ingenius names like: i69uRm0M!!11 in colored lettering or something. I won't even get into the aZN geniuses, Goolancer can cover that mutha better than me.
And finally, people who are just, simply, pricks in real life. They treat people like dirt, act holier than thou (which only works if a) you're not too serious about it and b) you really ARE, and if you're act like a cock-smoker, then you're not). These are the people who pick fights with working-class citizens or fast-food people. Not all fast-food workers are assholes. Granted, most of them, but a few of us just want some cash and at least we're nice about it.
But I digress...
My main point here is something I've only recently discovered, but will probably remember until some other shiny object comes into view:
INUYASHA IS GOD
And now I will sleep.
Hugs and Kisses baby.
Proffessor Choc out.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 12:03 AM
Friday, April 12, 2002
" well i figure alot of us use the computer too much and i was wondering if wierd stuff ever happens to you guys while your just sitting and staring. sometimes ill just get lost, and ill be sitting here listining to some techno/tance, usually oakenfold when it happens, and ill start thinking and get lost in my own little world and when im coming out of it, it takes a couple seconds because its like im slowly becoming aware again of the world around me, and its almost like im subconsciously fighting it, but when i come to and i cant remember what im doing or where i am sometimes. same thing when i wake up from sleeping, because i sleep up against a white wall at both my houses and sometimes i wake up and cant remember where i am. totally wierd. and another thing that happens sometimes is that if im not activly dong anything like im just waiting for a download to finish, my eyes wont be able to focus, it will be like they are focused behind the screen, and then i have to turn away and look at something else."
part of my post from the SST board. but i just wanna go into this a little more.i guess it worries me a little i think the way shit like this keeps happening. ill be walking through a mall and ill remember coming up to a certain area, and then it's like i wake up again, and i look back and theres that certain area behind me. and then the memory of me walking through that area, is all foggy and it seems distant, but i KNOW it just happend. ill be sitting here and i start to think then i wake up and i dont remember what i was doing, its like the music carries me away and get stuck in it. same thing like when i wake up, used to happen all the time, i wouldnt know where i was, i thought i was at my moms house i would roll over and see my room at my dads and understandably be just like "WTF", but ive learned to just feel the wall and i can usually tell. great way to get your day started. and another thing, constant deja vous. and its not like person A tells joke person B laughs the same way. its like my neighbor wearing an outfit carrying her purse a certain way holding a certain cup walking out of my house in an exact area. i know its not from the past, only from dreams. this used to happend 2 or 3 times a week last year, but it's slowed down now. i dont know whats wrong with me. and i just dont know if one of these times i wont wake up.
YO NIGS. ok, all you jewbies need to make it down to Mesa on the 20th cus its gunna be the shit. for real. ok so tonight i think me and blink are gunna go to the spring fling and kill people. and record them. dieing that is. anyway school was jewish today, i got my grades. a whopping 2.0 average. but my school is the hardest school in tucson, so fuck the rest. tomorow should be fun me and a few people are going over to our friend rex's house to bust Halo on xcox for like 10 hours. ill prolly be late to that shit cus it starts at 2. ill bring all my ICP and Twiztid shit to tear it up lyricly. i dont have anything to rant about this time. lata. and use the comments nigs before i smoke you.
10.)Mr.Nanny - This movie was fresh. It was about Hulk Hogan. And he was a nanny. It was crazy. A bunch of shit happens and the Hulkster is fighting criminals and masturbating in salad. It was great. Definately his most heterosexual role in anything he's ever been in. This includes his entire wrestling career.
YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS, BITCH?
9.)Problem Child - A movie about a little red headed orphan who likes to cause mischeif. He gets kicked out of every house he lives in, until finally he finds a home with the Healy's. It's neato, because he puts pickles and shit in a pinata. And he gets kidnapped by the guy who plays Kramer in Seinfeld.
I own this DVD. Suck my mother fucking dick, you aren't worthy.
8.)Killer Klowns From Outerspace - BAD ASS! Evil clown aliens come from space to kidnap humans. They wrap them up in cotton candy and then suck their brain goo out with a straw. They also have popcorn firing guns, and the popcorn turns into monsters and shit. And it even has a redneck with a dog named "Winnie The Pooh." Tight.
"Come on pooh bear, let's go eat some tacos!"
7.)Mortal Kombat - Probably the only really GOOD movie based on a video game. Classic moment - Johnny Cage uppercutting Goro in the testicles.
REPTILE WINS. Actually, he got killed in the movie. Talk about teh ghey.
6.)Street Fighter: The Movie - Yeah, I know it seems like I contradicted myself with my last statement. Street Fighter is by no means a good movie. It's terrible. It's just so badly done, and so untrue to the game. And that is why it's a classic. It's so bad...it's good! Does that make sense? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Guile, the all-american, is played by Van Damme, or maybe it's because Dhalsim is a scientist of European decent (he's an Indian yoga guy in the game), but this movie is funny. I suggest you check it out if you didn't see it in the theatre when you were in 2nd grade. Like I did.
"I don't just want a story on Bison, I want his HEAD! - Chun Li (If you're perverted like me you'll find great humor in that.)
5.)Child's Play - That's right. The movie with the evil little doll, Chucky. This was my first horror movie as a kid, and no matter what anyone thinks of it, or the series, it will always hold a dear place in my heart. There's just something about a maniacal serial killer in a little doll's body that scared the shit out of me as a kid, and amuses the fuck out of me today.
"I'll kill you, you stupid bitch!"
4.)Mallrats - This is definetly the black sheep of Kevin Smith movies. For some reason, no one really liked it. I dunno why, I think it's hilarious. Jay and Silent Bob own all.
"SNOOCH TO THE MOTHER FUCKIN' NOOCH!"
3.)High Fidelity - This movie is the fucking shit, and probably the only real mature movie on this list that I actually mentioned. It's smart and hilarious at the same time.
Sonic death monkey.
2.)Home Alone - This movie was great back in the day. Words can't describe it's greatness.
OMFG ghey child molestorz LOL!11
And the number one movie is....
*drum roll*
1.)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - This movie was basically a giant mash of my preschool childhood mashed together into a feature film. I love it. Yes.
Whoa, dude! Turtle Power!
Well, time for me to make my exit. I'll leave you with one more picture, then I must say goodbye for now.
What an average day. Mmmmm hmmmm... yes sir. Average. Even the pranks I pull at school to try to entertain myself are going stale. I bombed my science test today, and when that dick fuck ass-ramming bald penis face science teacher of mine assigned a truckload of bookwork to us like he enjoyed it, I felt like shoving a cactus up his ass.I asked my parents about Goolancer's birthday thing at Golfland next Saturday, and they were vague with responses. *grumble*... at least I got another one of Sushi's letters. Apparently she'd be willing to go out on a date with me in the likely event that we will ever meet... wheee! >=D. High point of my day. Speaking of which, she or D7 have not been online all day today...where the hell are they?
What's up, kiddies? Goolancer back in this hizzouse ready to drop some fly rhymes on your ass. Yeah. I don't really have a giant rant today, just a bunch of random shit.
My stupid mom hid all of our blank cd's from me until I get a B average in School, because she's dumb like that. I plan on finding them tonight.
I bet Snoop Dogg is really a white kid with a bunch of make up on.
It took me forever to get Hitomi, but I did it. I think that kind of ruins the purpose of these things, but whatever. I originally got Yuko, but...bleh.
My math teacher is a fucking tard. "Why did the bagels go to church? Because they're HOLY!" roflmao kekekekekekeke...wait. No.
I never really noticed how bagels would make such good sex toys until now.
Doesn't everyone want a taste of death? Well they should. Most people deserve death. Keep away from me unless you think you're better than that. I probably won't like you. What Flavour Are You?
....And It seems I taste of death. It's 12am and I'm now off to the store. Short entry, yes? Well, deal with it. I'll rant about CG babies or TEH VIDEOGAESM tommorow.
Soo .. I just got home and it's like 8:20, or it was when I got home.
Guess what I did all day? School and work ... and a little fun. So after school, my mom said she had to work, so she drops me off at Golf n Stuff until about 5:45 (about 2 hours). I decided i'd get $10 in tokens, but I guess I subliminally changed my mind. Wanna know why? Well, when you give this token machine $10, it gives you $5, then another $5. I only waited for the first $5 until an hour later when I sudden "OH FUCK" came to mind. Introduced a new kid there, named JR, to SST. He was pretty cool.
But when I got picked up, my mom said we had to do one job, then we can go home. Well, for those of you that don't know, my parents do heating, cooling, and air conditioning. When summer comes, they're fucking BUSY! So ofcourse, we do one more job behind ApexR, so I decide I'd google and drool over the overpriced pieces of fiberglass and machinery, then order a pizza for dinner.
Did I mention that I have ADD? Some people are confused about what ADD is, so I'll clear this up. ADD stands for Attention Deficit Disorter. ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorter. Now, when I am really happy and hyper or something, and someone doesn't like it, the tell me I should take one of my pills. You have no idea how much this pisses me off, because that's not what I have. I have one form, where I don't give a shit about anything so I just slack off and be lazy. Anyways, I tried these 54mg pills instead of 36mg and they fucking mess up my appeitite, so I didn't have lunch at school, just a small breakfast.
Back to pizza. I was so hungry, that I ate two pieces of pizza, then my mom picked me up and said we had ONE more job to do still and I was like, WTF. Hmph. Anyways, about 30 minutes later, we arrive at the house (probably around 6:45 or 7) and she says it's a simple pad replacement. Not so simple. The oldest fucking cooler in the world that belongs in the Guiness Book of World Records stood infront of us and it took for what seemed like an eternity.
During this eternity, I got covered in water, mud, and sweat. I had already been sweaty from Golf n Stuff a while ago, so I'll probably have a pizza on my face tomorrow. I also tried to call my girlfriend, but her dad picked up and, well, shit didn't go well. Oh well.
Now guess what? I have to study for a political science and spanish test.
Ah yeah, here we go again!
Damn! This is some funky shit that I be laying down on your ass.
This one goes out to all my homey's working in the field of
evolutionary science.
Check it!
Fuck the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass bitches,
every time I think of them my trigger finger itches.
They want to have their bullshit, taught in public class,
Stephen J. Gould should put his foot right up their ass.
Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve,
straight up fairy stories even children don't believe.
I'm not saying there's no god, that's not for me to say,
all I'm saying is the Earth was not made in a day.
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck the Creationists.
Break it down.
Ah damn, this is a funky jam!
I'm about ready to kick this bitch back in.
Check it.
Fuck the damn creationists I say it with authority,
because kicking their punk asses be me paramount priority.
Them wack-ass bitches say, "evolution's just a theory",
they best step off, them brainless fools, I'll give them cause to fear me.
The cosmos is expanding every second, every day,
but their minds are shrinking as they close their eyes and pray.
They call their bullshit science like the word could give them cred,
if them bitches be scientists then cap me in the head.
Bass!
Bring that shit in!
Ah yeah, that's right, fuck them all motherfuckers.
Fucking punk ass creationists trying to set scientific thought back 400 years.
Fuck that!
If them superstitious motherfuckers want to have that kind of party,
I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Fucking creationists.
Fuck them.
I'd like to talk about how this game was pretty cool for something that was ALL American made and released, but I'd like to rant about..
DOOMED GAME SERIES'
Games that started out fresh (or not) who's sequels we eagerly awaited only to find ourselves dissapointed with the game. That, or the series has been dragging on for so long that we are sick of hearing about it. Example?.....
TOMB RAIDER.
Probably the most toxic waste series of all, and a shitty movie to add the sewage. The first TR, for it's time, was pretty good. It was fun, at least.
Then the second game came along. Somehow, Lara Croft running around in the streets of Venice, swimming deep under sea exploring sunken Oil rigs, and raiding floating Castles generated by magical monks in search of a mystical dagger for God knows what reason defines "Tomb" in "Tomb Raider". Way to go Eidos.
Tomb Raider 3: Adventures of Lara Croft!
I played this game for a couple hours. It seemed tolerable enough..
Until I got to choose which Tomb to raid next, the choices being either Area 51, London, or Magical Dildo land, I decided not to play anymore. I'm pretty sure the only hype about this game was the fact the character designer decided to add a few digits to Lara's bra size.
The series goes downhill from there. Not even worth discussing. Probably the only reason people will be buying the PS2 sequel to the travesty that was "Tomb Raider:Chronicles- The hunt for more than 2 people to give a shit about this series anymore", is in search of that ever-so elusive NUDE CODE.
Legacy of Kain series!
I cry. This series had great potential. Kain and Raziel were the baddest gangsters in town, er, Nosgoth.
Soul Reaver featured a deep, dark plot of cold revenge in a beautifully designed gothic world, with dialog sharper than Vagrant Story and some of the most gruesome ways to dispose of your Vampiric enemies. It's too bad the game was dealyed almost a year, and still released the game completely unfinished and unsatisfying. Wanna pay the money for Soul Reaver 2 just to finish the game? Didn't think so.
How about that Blood Omen 2? Based on the shabby reviews it's been getting, I'm not too excited and don't have much to say about it, considering the first Blood Omen was an eye-sore to play, causing me to turn it off after 5 minutes of playing it.
There you have it. I can't think of any more series that have suffered similar fates, but if YOU do, post comments.
It's time for your hip-hop Hungarian lover to send out the mad tricks and beats to my peeps spreadin' the LOVE.
I've discovered a wonderful blend of cough syrup and staying awake. You, see, as PREVIOUSLY mentioned before, beforehand, of course, I've been sick. Oh so sick.
Of course, the upside is that I FINALLY got to miss school.
The downside is that my sickness blows the goat.
However, like my friend below, I found redemption.
With a new, bolder, smooth flava
DREAMCAST
The ill-fated ass-kicker who deserved better.
Only in America, apparently, is SEGA liked. Well, that just sucks, and possibly my only bitch against the Japanese. And SEGA isn't even that popular here.
"Fuck the Dreamcast." seems to have been the major cry, "It's graphics blew, and it had no good games."
Maybe, but you forget one thing my cock-sucking little cum guzzler.
The internet!
Yes! The oppurtunity to make contact with thousands of other pathetic, pale, high-pitched little whiny gamers like yourself. Why, what a novel idea. An idea, I might add, that hasn't been redone yet, even on today's supposedly "superior systems." Everyone is whining about how hard iit is, how much difficulty has to go into setting up servers and shit.
But SEGA was runnin' that bitch up on launch day, assuming you had
a) the Web Browswer CD (which I don't think was at first available)
b) An dial-up ISP
Of course, the first net-ready games weren't released until about a year later, when seganet was launched. But they ran like buttah, even on a crappy local ISP who's company name is (I kid you not) "That Internet Solutions Place" (formerely South Bend Internet). Yes, it's gayer than this man:
Hello. My name is Carson Daly. I am a massive tool.
However, it ran smoother than sex, and was twice as fun.
Granted, I'll give the Dreamcast it's negative points, compared to today's games, the graphics aren't quite as impressive, and some of their inadiquacies are more starkly evident under harsher inspection. The DC also geared towards a more arcadey crowd, offering less 'sim-games' for you psychotically hardcore gamers. Fuck that though. I'll take arcade-style instant gratification over any long term "realistic" crap. However: They're still pretty damned good. Play Guilty Gear X, Shenmue, Jet Grind Radio, Skies of Arcadia, hell...even Power Stone looks pretty good.
So, the DC is pretty sexay graphically.
And remember that oh, so SMOOTH internet gameplay? There's a little game called Phantasy Star Online, and it's addictive as hell. I'll cover it in another rant, but this muthafucka is crack on a CD. It's no Everquest or DAoC in scope, but it rivals both in graphics and addictiveness.
And the DC Pad is pretty sweet too. Granted, some people bitched about it when it first came out, but it melts into my palms easier than any Gamecube or X-Box controller. Plus, I just LOVE that analog stick. It rolls JUST right. Try playing Sonic Adventure 2 on Gamecube, and you'll see which controller feels tighter.
Well, all things aside, the DC is dead now. But the fact that SEGA finally managed to do nearly everything right, only to fall on its face, kind of deserves a mention. Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's the drugs, but I love my Dreamcast.
Hugs and Kisses Baby.
Proffessor Choc out.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 7:28 PM
Fucking school. Talk about retardation to the max.
Oh well.
Today, we talk about...
ANNOYING INTERNET FADS THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED
1.) ALL YOUR BASE - Ok, it was funny the first time. And the second time. Hell, it made me chuckle a little the 52nd time. But come on people, IT'S DEAD. It's older than your grandpappy's wrinkly dick. It's the internet equivalent of "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Extremely old and not at all funny.
If I ever see someone wearing this, I will slash there throat open and implant babies into their stomach, Alien style.
2.) DANCING BABY - This is one thing I never understood. Just because this shit was on some pussy ass FOX show (Ally McVeal...or whatever) everyone went crazy over it. It's stupid. If I want to see a baby wiggle around I'll go check the one in the frying pan.
This has got to be the funniest picture EVER.
3.)HAMPSTER DANCE - A badly designed website with a bunch of animated hampsters stroking their penises to the tune of "I Need To Shut The Fuck Up." Or whatever. This was even featured in a TV Commercial...I could do this with my dick in my hand and my other hand inside of your grandmother.
OMG TALK ABOUT TEH GHEY~~~!11
4.)ROTTEN.COM - This is the gayest website ever. Everyone's like "DOOD OMG THEY POST PICTURES OF DEAD PEOPLE IT'S COOL" If they're going to do it, they could have at least been somewhat funny. Cunts.
I couldn't really think of a picture to post here, so instead you get a pic of sexy Hitomi Yoshizawa from Morning Musume. Praise!
5.)NEOPETS - What do you get when you take Pokemon, take out anything resembling fun, then throw in the internet?
I would choke too if I had to suck some dumbshit's dick everyday. NEOPETS ROX!!11
6.)NAPSTER - Yeah, I like trading MP3's and all, but Napster was pretty gay. Everybody was making such a big deal about it, but you couldn't even really find anything on it anyways. Bleh. I don't really hate it, but it was so focking overrated.
I find this pic funny, but at the same time I hope the person who made it shoves a red hot poker into their urethra.
7.)AMERICA ONLINE - Laugh out loud! I think it was AOL that birthed such annoying phrases as "LOL," "ROFL," and "LMAO." Not to mention those god damn smilies. :D :D :D :D :D
Goddammit, I'm tired! Just another boring day in my life. I'm gonna try to make this the best rant I can out of my second post. Anyways, I got my fair share of idiots for today -- first I see this piece of crap. Like whose really gonna believe this? It has so many holes in the story, it's worthy enough being called a doughnut. [Yes, I'm lame.] Really now, who the FUCK tells someone their User Name and Password right before they die? This is just as worst as his last post. [God, kevin sounds like a young Goolancer.] Goodbye, kevin, and good FUCKIN' riddance! Now why can't every single moron in this World just crawl up into a corner and die? No, wait, they can't -- if all of the idiots in the World dies, then who else can I tease when I'm bored? *snaps fingers* Well, if I want my daily dosage of morons, I just head on over to the "Darwin Awards". Oh yeah, it's the schiznit.
Don't mistake me, folks, I'm in a chipperish mood today -- I just can't seem to have the same personality on this Blog. LOL~! ^^;; [Yep, I'm the black sheep of these boys here.] Oh well, I have nothing else to talk about . . .
I'm very contagious today. Tomarrow? Not to worry.. Antibiotics are hard at work. Stanford 9 testing is also tomorrow, followed by going to Goo's house and ordering cheap Chinese food and playing video games. A true diet indeed, but it's not like I'm going to gain weight any time soon..
Ah yes. What people would do for my high metabolism..
Yo. well it's ACTUALLY tuesday now, despite what i thought yesterday, and it was pretty gay. I was tired as fuck alllllll day long in school, so i kept like nodding off, and the English teacher switched all our seats around and shit, and i am literally as close as i can get. GAY GAY GAYGAYGAYGAYGAY. Ill give you a special breakdown of my day:
1st Period (Chemistry): This fucking faggot kid cameron(guy) wouldnt just SHUT THE FUCK UP. he runs around like a dick all day long, but he can be funny when im in the mood for it, but at 8AM, im not. then this other little nerdy "i like to piss people off" kid Kai just keeps sitting there and like flicking the handle on the sink thats built into the counter. teacher tells him to stop. he starts again. teachers tells him to stop. he starts again. repeat as needed until said teacher flips out. THEN he decides to start clicking his pen like a little bitch, and hes doing this all 100% on purpose. so i turn around and tell him to shut up, and turn back around not waiting for a response, and what else does he do but click it really fast for a second and then continue on doing it. all i heard from that pen was "KICK MY ASS. KICK MY ASS. KICK MY ASS." i swear. 4/5 days in that class im about ready to do it too. BLAH.
2nd Period(English): let me see if i can express how close my desk is to this guy while he is teaching. Stick out your arm, where your fingers are, thats where this guy is. thank god only 18 more school days left. i think i just say "YO NIG GET ALL UP OFF MY GRILL BIATCH" and move to the back of the room. fuckem.
3rd Period(French): let me see if i can some up we do in there:
Yup thats about it.
/insert lunch
5th Period(Math): Well we sit there..and learn math. no one talks. no one. ever.
6th Period(Political Science): OH OH OH FUN BOOK ON POLITICS OH OH OH OH. actually not the worst class but the people i have are the same as my math class, and they are all these fat dumb 10th grade bitched. there are 13+ girls, and 3 guys in that class. and i'de say a total of 3 girls in there i wouldnt like seeing dead, they are that stupid.
7th Period(Computer Science): we code C++ fun fun fun.
8th Period(World History): He talks, we listin, he gives me a hard time for one thing i said ONCE a month or 2 ago, just because i give him shit for playing these boring shitty "documentaries" for a week straight doesnt mean ill ever say it again. i said something ONE TIME, and every week, ususally every day, without fail he manages to piss me off somehow by saying like "OH SAVE WHAT DOES IT MATTER YOU WONT BE HAPPY WITH WHATEVER I DO IN HERE" no wonder he got beat up so much as a kid.
OK that was a sorta breakdown of my day. ill probably post again later tonight, hope that was long enough for ya Jewlancer. if i spelled anything wrong, well then go fuck yourself for caring.
Hey-hey my little imps. How're those bagels doin'?
Would you like to know what absolutely sucks on my E3? (for you uninformed little penis-jockies, that's my left nut)
GETTING SICK
Yeah.
I'm one of those lucky bastards you hate to hear about who never gets sick. Once a year maybe. While you're dripping ass chocolate into a bowl full of water and crying about your anal troubles, I'm jumping about and skipping like the healthy little shit I am. Doesn't it just piss you off?
Except for one thing.
All you bastards who miss school and get to stay at home and sleep through half the year don't have my problem.
I only get sick on holidays. I haven't missed a genuine sick day from school since, maybe third grade...
MAYBE.
So enjoy all your little days off of school in peace you man-molesting AOL users. I'll be sitting at home, shivering and coughing out my fucking pancreas while you cumwand swinging Harry Potter wannabes bake your skin off on vacation.
Hugs and Kisses Baby.
Proffessor Choc out.
- Nick, ha ha, I am making the funny with!, 4:59 PM
Hello yet again, cunt sluts. Welcome to another exciting jog through the streets of my very sexy mind. Today, we discuss...
THE DOWNFALL OF NICKELODEON
First of all, we discuss the Old School.
Nick Jr. - I don't remember bunch about it, but there are two shows that stick out in my mind. First one being - David The Gnome. God damn that show was the shit. It was about a little gnome named David who had hot orgies with the sexy village girls. He was also a drug lord, and he would sell heroin to all the little woodland creatures. It was fucking fresh. The other show I remember was some freaky anime show about fairy tales or some shit. Come to think about it, Nick Jr. might be the reason I'm so fucked up today. Pfft, fuck that. Moving on...
The Cartoons - The big chunk of what I grew up on. You had your Rugrats (when they didn't suck), your Doug, (when it didn't suck) Ren And Stimpy, Rocko, AHHHH!! Real Monsters, and a bunch of other shit. I even remember obscure cartoons like Danger Mouse and Tintin. Those were the days, mother fucker, those were the days.
Tintin, the ghetto prince, gonna start some trouble mothah fuckah.
The Other Shit - The (Old) Episodes of Are you Afraid of the Dark, with Zebo the Clown and shit. That was my favorite show from around Kindergarten to 2nd grade or so. There's something about evil ghost clowns who smoke cigars that is just plain fucking cool. What else was there? Ah yes, Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, the (old) episodes of All That, and a bunch of other shit.
I can't believe someone made a fan site for this shit. God bless their souls.
Now, let's look at the new school.
Nick Jr - What the fuck is this shit? The only good thing on Nick Jr. is Dora The Explorer, and little Bill, because, it's about Bill Cosby! Everything else is just shit. Blue's Clues - a stupid ghey named Steve runs around in an animated house with a giant mailbox that fucks him up the ass. And a dog. Whatever. Bob The Builder - A show designed to introduce children into the exciting world of autoerotic asphyxiation. (sp? kekeke) All Bob does is fuck his tractor up the ass with his 2 inch dick. Talk about teh ghey.
"I think I found a clue on my vagina!
The Cartoons - Let's see, you have Rocket Power, The Fairly Odd Parents, Rocket Power, and umm....Rocket Power. Rocket Power is the ultimate in shit. It's a failed attempt by Nick to connect to the "Supar Skatar Youth" found often in today's culture. It's too bad they all look like a bunch of ugly midgets. And they ram each other in the vagina/ass with their skateboards.
Rocket Power to the MAX! HARDCORE! EXTREME SKATEBOARDING ACTION! OHHHHHHH YEAH!
The Other Shit - Everything else. Seriously. It's THAT bad.
...
But, there are some things that have ALWAYS been wrong with Nickelodeon.
The Big Help - FUCK THE ENVIRONMENT.
Nick News - I can't believe Linda Ellerby is still alive. This is the stupidest shit ever.
Nick at Nite - They already have TVLand, why do they have to leave this shit on? I'd prefer a Rocko marathon, or something else in the time slot plis k thx
I like my baby seals coated in oil from an exploded tanker, thx
Thanks for letting me join up, Goolancer. I'll try to be at least marginally useful. I would make a nice long intro post and all that jazz, but it's friggin 12:43 over here, I'm tired as hell, and I need to be up early tomorrow for a politics class which is about as intresting as Ben Stien with narcolepsy. So I guess I'll just ramble nonsensically for a few sentences, get violent, then bail. I hate daylights savings time, stealing an hour of my much needed slumber every damn year. I want that time back, damnit! *throws his clock across the room* Time's flying, so you must be having some fun now, bitch! Okay, I feel better now that I've destroyed something. *yawns and blinks a few times* Peace.
Ok, there's three more members folks. There should be anywhere from 1-3 more people joining. I know these are your first posts and all, but let's try to keep them a little more lengthy.
Yo nigs its me again, i figured out i can just cut and paste to avoid these gay errors im getting with every letter i type because COX@HOME likes to smoke itself. Anyway today was pretty boring, same old day at school. Cool that im in this shit cus ill probably post alot if i dont forget about it by tomorow. Late
Welcome to Goolancer's new blog, Saturn Valley. Here I rant about shit, post a bunch of pictures, then make a nigguh go UNGGGGGG. Yeah. But, even I can't do this on my own. I'll probably have a team of people posting on here soon enough. It will sure tickle your anus, it will.
In other news, P.E. sucked a fat nut today. Well, it always does. But today was special. It was one of those inoppurtune moments when you had to take one of the biggest shits of your life, and you were in the middle of running some shit. FUCK. I thought my bowels were going to explode and poopy would drip down my leg. It was wacky. I finally ran to the bathroom and fucked up the toilet GOOD, I did. Then we got to play this Jewish game called "Over The Line." It was fucking retarded. It was like the Rocket Power of Softball. What a bunch of shit. Then the P.E. teacher masturbated to all the kids changing their clothes, as usual. I want this class to end.
What else did I do? 2nd,3rd, and 5th period - slept. Went home, played games, masturbated, you know, the usual. It was kinky, but in that weird Mr.Roger's way.
